Piano in the Dark aka Later
by Dark Roswellian Angel
Summary: During The Berrisford Agenda, Max learns about her relationships with men- more specifically about two men in her life. And about herself, too. "This time he was sending up a song for the dark angel that had been pushed into his life."
1. An Unappetizing Dinner Party

Title: Later

Author: Dark Roswellian Angel

Elizabeth McDowell

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. If I did, "Dark Angel" would still be airing, and Malec would be a household phrase- as in, two young lovers are so malec for each other, or their chemistry is just so malec.

Copying/Downloading/Posting: Please let me know first, and let me know where my work will be posted as I would love to come visit it. Make sure that it is put under my name, as I would love to hear how others feel about it. Thanks ;)

Rating: T+ just to be safe

Synopsis: During The Berrisford Agenda, Max learns about her relationships with men- more specifically about two men in her life. And about herself, too.

* * *

An Unappetizing Dinner Party

"Welcome to my house."

Max smiled as she watched her recently-added brother interact with the man she cared about. Joshua was such a sweetheart- she hoped Logan would be able to see that through all the fur. She really wanted them to get along. Especially since, if they did, then maybe Joshua would spend more time with Logan and she wouldn't have to see him hanging out so much with her ex-breeding partner. Because that inevitably led to her hanging out with him, too. And while she'd actually started enjoying that, to some degree anyway, she knew how much it bothered Logan. After all, hadn't he even made comments to that effect on the way here?

She didn't get it- she took every opportunity to criticize Alec, and it still wasn't enough for the guy. She was getting so incredibly tired of his completely unjustified jealousy. And his lack of trust when it came to her was beginning to piss her off. He acted like he could see through her words and her actions to something that she wasn't even aware of. For that matter, so did OC. So did Joshua, sometimes. But that just couldn't be right. There was absolutely no way she felt anything more than a tiny bit of friendship, a little Manticore loyalty, and a infinitesimal amount of begrudging respect for the womanizing, self-centered deviant. She turned her attention back to the male exchange, and was thrilled to see how well the two men seemed to be hitting it off.

"Lovely house it is, too. And to commemorate... (She watched with a smile as he handed him a classy wine bag.) It's a bottle of pre-pulse Chardonnay. I--I didn't know what we were having, so I--I, uh--I thought white would--(She thought it adorable when Joshua tipped the bag upside down, clearly looking for the present. This was probably the first present he'd ever been given.)--no, inside there. (Joshua found the wine and laughed. Logan smiled. And Max practically beamed.) I thought white would be a good idea. It's a safe choice.

"Having macaroni and cheese, and little--little hot dogs."

_Wow. He's really outdoing himself. He must be really nervous about how this dinner party is going to go if he's pulled out the hot dogs, too._ Max was thrilled. For half a second. Then she froze.

"Dogs." The man was actually chuckling, and what was up with the way he was looking at him? Max's delight immediately turned to annoyance. For all his assurances that he was perfectly capable of behaving himself at a dinner party and that he could treat Joshua well no matter what he looked like, that was a serious blunder. _Or is it his true feelings about transgenics popping their ugly little heads out? _That annoying little voice was back- it seemed to have been visiting her a lot lately. Especially when it came to her boyfriend or the nearest male transgenic who seemed bent on disrupting her complacent lifestyle. Her smile dropped as she looked at her date. She could actually feel a look of disgust replacing her usual adoring one. Nobody treated her Joshua like that. She was just grateful that Joshua seemed basically oblivious; although with that look he was giving Logan, she had to wonder just how unaware he actually was.

"Sounds good. What else?"

When Logan compounded his error by inferring that this was not a completely sensible menu for Joshua's guests, Max's mouth almost opened up into a gape. She immediately felt Joshua's impending embarrassment as he was brought to understand that Logan was used to getting something better. How could he be such an unfeeling jerk?!

"'What else'?"

"Are we having any--anything else?"

Max thanked her lucky stars for having such a wonderful friend as OC when the girl came to her friend's rescue.

"What else do you need?" OC had known it was a mistake to include Logan in tonight's festivities. The prejudiced man would not be capable of offering anything other than a wet blanket to Joshua's big night. As much as she loved Max, she just did not get how blind her girl was when it came to the guy.

Max was grateful that Logan finally seemed to realize his faux pas. "Right. That's a good point… But, I mean, yum."

And thank heavens Joshua was such a sweetheart that even if he did realize how badly Logan had already messed up, he was willing to let it go. "Yummy!" She loved hearing him laugh- it was so big and free and real. Not like the polite laugh that Logan used so often. And speak of the devil, there it was. She fought to keep from rolling her eyes.

Trying to get her thoughts away from just how uneasy Logan seemed and how badly he reacted to being around the people who meant so much to her, Max turned her attention to how Joshua had prepared the room for his first party. "Joshua, the table looks great."

"Thanks." She couldn't help smiling when he did. It made her happy to know he was happy.

Then, she noticed something that made her skin crawl. Something that seemed completely wrong. Something that simply had to be wrong. It wasn't possible that Joshua would have, could have- "Who's the fifth place for?" _Please, please, please, say that it's a mistake. That you accidentally miscounted. That no matter how much I know you care about him you wouldn't have included him. Even if it is your first party ever. Not without letting me know first._ Her eyes flew to Logan's for a split-second, and she could almost read his thoughts.

Then her attention was completely taken up by something else. Someone else. She could feel the thrill go down her spine as she felt rather than saw his approach. She could feel her eyes light up, and she immediately doused them. She looked over to where she knew he'd make his appearance, trying to hush the excitement that threatened to overtake her.

As he walked into the room, his eyes took in the situation and then went straight to her. He knew she wouldn't be happy that he was here. Not when her boyfriend was accompanying her. He hadn't realized that she'd be here, though he now realized that he should have, what with it being Joshua's first dinner party. He'd been really looking forward to spending the evening with the big lug; hanging out with the guy promised to be just the thing to lift his spirits. But as he took in Max's surprised expression and Logan's irritated and irritating presence, his earlier gloom-and-doom attitude started to reassert itself. He was barely able to get out the greeting, "Hey, Max." He didn't bother addressing the others, knowing that Joshua and OC wouldn't mind, and he didn't really care how Logan felt. About anything. At least not for now.

Max immediately forced her impending smile away and replaced it with a dirty, disappointed look. To complete the charade, she even forced a sigh. _There. That should do it. _She quickly looked at Logan, hoping he'd buy her scene. She didn't even wonder why her heart had started beating so quickly or why it was so hard to look away from Alec.

He didn't miss her sigh, and he wondered if it was a real one or merely part of the show she seemed to feel the need to put on in front of her boyfriend. Man that word stuck in his throat wrong.

* * *

Dinner was an uncomfortable, quiet affair. Max and OC exchanged glances, both aware that it was because of the two males at the other end of the table. Max wasn't sure what she could do to make things better. She looked at Alec- he was still staring down at his plate, barely even touching his food. What the hell was wrong with him?! Normally, he'd be cracking jokes, making sure everyone was having a good time, especially her. Normally, she'd love having him sitting beside her, even though she'd be hiding that fact. But now… now, something was very, very wrong. And she didn't know what it was, or how to help him. And with Logan sitting on Alec's other side, she wasn't sure how to even go about trying.

She looked at her sister, hoping she could help. But she noticed that OC's attention was now on Joshua who had finally given up on his utensils and was eating his food more naturally. She immediately glanced at Logan and noticed that the guy was actually staring at him, fascinated. She couldn't stand how Logan treated her family as though they were actually science experiments that should be studied under a microscope. Like Manticore. The thought left a horrifying taste in her mouth. Was she right? How had she not noticed it before? She was grateful when OC cleared her throat prompting Joshua to reattempt using his fork.

As for Alec, he was having one of the worst nights of his life. First the whole Rachel-reminder. But now, he should have been having the time of his life between having Joshua and Max with him and some good free food on the table. And he usually thoroughly enjoyed spending time with OC, even though she still seemed a little wary around him. He wondered about that. Her attitude definitely had the whole "you'd better not hurt my best friend" vibe to it, and he couldn't figure out why she would think he had enough effect on Max's emotions to be of any danger.

But with Logan sitting on one side of him and an obviously uncomfortable Max on the other side, he felt extremely put-in-the-middle in any and every way possible. He knew the older man was insecure around him, and he had some suspicions that his feelings were the reason that Max treated him the way she did when Logan was around. But it didn't make any sense. He knew he was good-looking and smart and charming and genetically-enhanced, which made him both a little better and one of Max's kind. But she'd never shown any interest, so what was it that made Logan so unsure of himself? Alec liked to think that it was because Logan could see something that neither Max nor he could. Like maybe a common interest in each other, or a connection that surpassed what Logan thought he had with Max, or maybe he even knew something about why Manticore had paired them up that he was refusing to share in case Max decided to act on it.

It had taken Alec a long time to realize that he wanted Logan to have a valid reason to be jealous. He wanted Max to care for him, and not the way the girls he took home almost every night cared. They were interesting and nice and he wasn't lying when he called them "unique creatures unlike any other;" because they were. When it came down to it, every being in creation was unique in some way. But none of them were Max. None of them had her fire, her determination, her humor, her buttons, her beauty, her experiences that allowed her to understand what he'd gone through better than most, her kindness, her compassion, her… the list differentiating Max from every other female he'd ever known seemed endless. And eventually, he'd realized that it was enough to make her the only person who could ever keep him guessing even while he knew that he understood her. She was the only person who could make him laugh when he was down, who didn't worry about pushing his buttons because she knew she could hold her own with him, who was capable of bringing him down to reality at the same time as she was helping him see the potential for a brighter future. She was the first person who had ever told him that emotions were okay, that they could actually be strengths. She was the first person who had ever told him that he had to decide what kind of person he wanted to be, that he couldn't just rest on his laurels, that he needed to become better than what Manticore had made him. And she had unknowingly given herself as his role model for what he wanted to become. Even without wanting to or knowing she was doing it, Max opened herself to him, allowing him to see into her beautiful soul. And that gave him something to work towards- becoming worthy of her.

So, as he sat sandwiched between the woman who was becoming his light, and the man she actually wanted to be with, he couldn't help feeling miserable. And when it was compounded with the reminder he'd had today of what and who he used to be, it created the kind of mood that made a person want to check how many sharp instruments were in the nearby vicinity. After all, until he'd met Max, he'd always believed he'd been in love with Rachel when he'd betrayed her. And even now that he knew what being in love was really like, he knew that she had been the first person he'd ever loved. And it was all his fault that she'd been hurt and probably destroyed. When OC cleared her throat, Alec was grateful that she interrupted the direction his thoughts were following.

Max smiled as Joshua attempted to behave like the perfect host by making small talk.

"Nice--nice weather we're having."

And at least the so-called "high class" guy was capable of responding.

"And not a lot of rain, which is unusual this time of year."

But when Joshua went on to a topic that he considered of high import, Max nearly groaned out loud. This was just the very last thing she wanted to talk about, especially with Alec sitting next to her listening to the whole thing.

"Virus bitch going down? Max and Logan gettin' busy?" he was so obviously trying to make his guest feel welcome that her heart went out to him, but it did not extend to Logan's complete lack of social mores.

She had never believed it possible to be completely disgusted by Logan, but when he burst out laughing, she changed her mind. She cringed as she listened to Joshua howl and laugh along. She could hardly believe her ears as she heard Logan respond.

"Well, we're--you know, we're looking for a... (he finally seemed to notice Max's reaction)...we're--we're hoping."

Yet again, it was her boo who came to her rescue when Logan was messing up.

"No sex or politics at the dinner table, boo," OC said as she wiped a bit of food off Joshua's chin as though it were as natural as using her own napkin. She was having no problem picking up on all the vibes reverberating around the table, though she was a little surprised at the ones coming from her girl. She wondered if it might be possible that tonight would be the night when Max finally realized what reality was. She hoped she'd be able to help her girl deal with it- she knew she'd be disappointed when she finally realized that Logan could never really be a part of her world. In some ways he was too high class, and in many more ways he wasn't worthy of her. She hoped it wouldn't take Max too long to realize how well-equipped Alec would be for helping her get over her disappointment. OC may have some misgivings about the hot transgenic, but she knew love when she saw it, and the boy was pure smitten with her boo. And from what she'd seen of him and all the changes he'd chosen to make, he was a much better match for her best friend than Logan could ever be.

"Oh, sorry. Sorry."

Still horrified at the conversation, and wondering how to fix it, Max added, "Anyway... we'll see what happens." She wasn't willing to make Logan think that she didn't want a cure, no matter how his actions were affecting her thoughts tonight. She was surprised when her words caused Alec to shift uncomfortably. He seemed to pull himself out of his dour thoughts enough to address her. When his gaze shifted to hers, she couldn't hide her response. She wondered if he had any idea how much just his glance could affect her, or how much she wanted to help him through whatever he was working through.

Alec had heard just about enough. He didn't blame Joshua. It wasn't as though being locked up in the basement his whole life had given him lessons in etiquette. And he wasn't that surprised when Logan had said what he had. After all, it wasn't like Logan was going to pass up an opportunity to make it clear that he and Max were still together. No, the whole territorial reaction wasn't surprising, though it kind of stung. No, the part that really got to him was listening to Max's agreement. So, he decided it was high time to put an end to the conversation, "Hey, Max, could you pass the ketchup, please?" He just wished he could hide the emotion in his voice every time he said her name.

Max knew she couldn't show any outward support of Alec when Logan was around, but she wanted him to know that she was there for him. And she wanted him to know that she cared- even though she was pretty sure she didn't want to know just how much. And she wanted him to know that she supported him and was glad that he was finally making an effort to add to the group. So, she did the only thing that she felt she could. She tried to help increase his good mood by good-naturedly partaking in their normal banter. "Oh, you mean this _unique_ ketchup, unlike any other?" She hadn't meant anything negative by it. She was just teasing him, even more gently than normal. It was part of their "thing." But her friendly smile immediately disappeared when she saw the hurt look in his eyes.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He had been dealing with this whole emotional rollercoaster through the entire meal, and he wanted off. He hadn't really needed the tomato sauce- he'd needed her to focus on him, to smile at him, to hear her voice, and maybe even feel the touch of her skin as she passed him the bottle. He'd needed to feel their connection blare to life if only for a second so that he could use the strength that he found in it to get through the rest of the night. When she'd instead used the opportunity to criticize him for something that he'd found rather clever and been praised for in the past, it was too much for him. He felt as though she were rejecting him. He threw his fork down and rounded on her. "Why don't you lay off, huh?" Then, realizing that he'd just blown up at her, and she probably hated him even more than normal for embarrassing her, and Logan was probably just eating it up, he had to get away. He needed a few minutes to collect himself before he came back to the battleground. He abruptly stood up, announced "I'm going to stretch my legs," and beat a hasty retreat.

"Mac and cheese overdone?" Joshua asked worriedly. He had finally picked up on the emotional overtones running rampant through his dinner party. He looked at one of his best friend's backs and considered whether it could have been his fault.

If Max hadn't been dealing with the sting that Alec's reaction had given her, she probably would have appreciated Logan's supportive response. "No, it's great. He's upset about something else." Unless, of course, she realized that the only reason Logan was suddenly in such a good mood was because he thought Alec had just shown his true colors and that Max was upset because he was such a loser. He almost felt like crowing. The smile on his face spread for half a second before he caught himself. Then when OC responded, he wanted to kick her for putting a sympathetic view on his competition.

"Upset? That boy's so spun his head's gonna fly off," OC said worriedly. She knew that Alec had to deal with whatever he was dealing with, and for that matter, so did Max, but it hurt her to see her boy hurting and her girl so confused. What was it going to take for those two to realize that they were the only ones in the world who could really understand what life had been like for them? How long was it going to take for them to open up to each other, for real, and honestly let each other in? She had the feeling it was going to take a long time, but she hoped not because she was pretty sure that it would only be after that happened that her friends were going to be able to start really healing from what their creators had done to them.

"Yeah, why don't you ease up on him, Max?" It had taken him a moment to realize that Alec's outburst hadn't affected Max the way it should have. Instead of looking all put out and pissed off at the transgenic, she seemed upset in an entirely different way. An introspective and "I'm connected to Alec in a way nobody else could ever understand" way. His joy at Alec's goof immediately turned to bitterness.

Max jumped like she'd been slapped. She couldn't believe that Logan was talking to her like that. Like she was in the wrong. The only reason she hadn't already jumped up and dragged Alec over to a corner to find out what was wrong with him was because of this jerk and now he was dressing her down for her behavior?! How dare he?! Still, she tried to keep herself in line, and instead of verbally knocking him off his high horse, she responded, "Fine. But we have to do double shifts for the rest of the week because of him." She narrowed her eyes as Logan refused to drop it.

"Well, far be it from me to defend Alec, but he didn't exactly force those girls to quit. And if he didn't tell either one of them it was exclusive, then what's so terrible about dating them both for a couple weeks?"

Max suddenly realized that Logan was trying to appear as though he were as much of a ladies' man as Alec was naturally. She cut her laugh short, "They work together."

"Yeah, well, it's not like they were sisters or something."

That his mind even went that way disgusted her. It reminded her of his reaction when she'd told him of OC and Diamond's encounter. She'd always considered him better than that, and here he was disappointing her again. She looked from Logan to OC and saw the knowing look on her girl's face. Was it possible that this was the real Logan, and OC had already realized it? She felt naïve and emotionally vulnerable, and as Joshua laughed at the arrogant conceitedness and stupid statement the human had made, Max quietly stood up. She didn't bother saying anything as she walked away from the table, listening as OC laid it out, "Men. Dogs. No difference."

* * *

As she walked to the other end of the house, Max could suddenly hear the sound of a piano being played. Although it sounded as though a few of the keys were slightly out of tune, the music was beautiful. The feeling behind the music reached out to her and touched her. She was glad she didn't have to put on the show of indifference that she would have been forced to portray if she'd remained at the table. She smiled as she listened- she didn't have to be told who was playing. Only one person held that much passion concealed, and only one man could touch her soul like that. Her ultrasonic hearing picked up OC's compliment, "He's got skills," and the jealousy in Logan's voice as he queried, "Did you know he could play?" She quietly left the room she was in so that she could hear Alec better.

Downstairs, Alec was glad that he had found the one thing that had ever served as a true release for him. Playing this instrument was the only tool he'd ever found for opening himself up and releasing all the pain and stress he felt. And it had been over a year since he'd been able to flush his emotional toxins like this. He smiled as he noted a new feeling added to his music. This time, he wasn't just trying to work through his problems. He could feel the primal need in his music, the territorial promise that one day he would open himself to her and ask her to open herself to him, that one day he would make her see him as he was and would be and not just as he used to be, that one day he would claim what was meant to be. This time he was sending up a song for the dark angel that had been pushed into his life.


	2. Piano in the Dark

Title: Piano in the Dark

Later

Author: Dark Roswellian Angel

Elizabeth McDowell

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. If I did, "Dark Angel" would still be airing, and Malec would be a household phrase- as in, two young lovers are so malec for each other, or their chemistry is just so malec.

Copying/Downloading/Posting: Please let me know first, and let me know where my work will be posted as I would love to come visit it. Make sure that it is put under my name, as I would love to hear how others feel about it. Thanks ;)

Rating: T+ just to be safe

Synopsis: During The Berrisford Agenda, Max learns about her relationships with men- more specifically about two men in her life. And about herself, too.

A/N: I actually wrote a lot of the next two chapters before I wrote the preceding one. That seems to be the way it works quite often with me. So if it feels disjointed, that's why. Also, I've altered some things in this- for instance, Max has already gone back to the house (Normal called her on the lack of signature before she left work that day, which is part of why she was late getting to Logan's) and she's already seen the picture where it was Rachel wearing the locket rather than her mother.

* * *

Piano in the Dark

Max knew she should probably just leave it alone, but she couldn't help it. She felt as though the music were calling to her, as though it were a part of her, or maybe she was a part of it. She silently opened the door and went down the stairs. The sight that met her stole her breath away. There sitting on the piano bench was the most wonderful, most beautiful man in the world with his heart open and vulnerable. Yet she could tell even from looking at the back of his head that his eyes would be blazing as though he were daring anyone to come and try to hurt him. The passion in his posture as his strong fingers deftly sped across the keys opened her heart to him. She could feel his pain as though it were her own, his hope took her along the pathway to faith, and his confusion sent her head spinning. She could do little more than quietly sink to her knees as she watched him through the banister, though she was sure that he would not have noticed her even if she had made a sound.

As his music drew to a close, Alec eventually became aware of his audience. He knew who it was without turning around, but he looked towards her anyway. The look on her face made it difficult for him to breathe. He quickly thanked the terrorists at Manticore for making lack of air less of a deal than it would be for an Ordinary.

When Max could finally speak, she whispered, "That was beautiful."

Though he couldn't actually hear it, Alec was certain her compliment was laced with sarcasm. Unwilling to allow his heart to receive the brunt of her wit when he was still feeling so open and exposed, he steeled his voice, "Yeah, whatever. Look, Max, in case I wasn't clear enough up there, I'd kind of like some time to myself right now." He looked away from her, unsure whether he actually wanted her to leave- on the one hand her company always strengthened him, on the other hand he didn't want her knowing that he needed help with that.

Max stood up as though she were preparing to leave, but instead she just leaned against the banister and looked at him. Very quietly and possessing more gentleness than most people even imagined her voice could contain, she asked, "Who was she?"

Alec looked up surprised, but he was still unwilling to take a chance on how she would treat him if she knew about his past, or his weakness. "I don't know what you're talking about… If you're upset about what I said, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude up there. I'll apologize to everybody else later, but right now I'm just trying to deal with some stuff. So, if you could just… (he made an upward moving gesture with his hand) I'd appreciate it."

Instead, Max actually came down the stairs and approached him.

"Geez, Max. What do you want? I've asked you to leave politely. What do I have to do to get you to just give me a few minutes?!" he was starting to become upset. He was almost grateful to have a target other than himself to focus his anger on.

Her voice immediately quieted his outburst. "Alec… Look, I know that this whole verbal sparring deal, well, it's kind of become our "thing." I mean we both piss each other off frequently, you say one of your smart a-- comments, and I bop you upside your head... And secretly you stare down any contender who wasn't already a current when you showed up, and secretly I diss any girl you look at twice." She smiled at his baffled look- clearly he hadn't known that she'd noticed, and maybe he hadn't realized the cause of her antagonism towards his dates.

"The thing is, Alec,… just because I _act_ like you're the slime that climbed out from under Manticore's rock, doesn't mean that I don't see you. Because I do. Alec, I see the real you. The man that you're becoming; the man you've always been. The man whose heart wouldn't let you leave when others needed you, that wouldn't let you kill me even when it meant you would die, that made you come back to pay your debt. Only that wasn't the real reason you came back, is it? You came back for me- to help me, to give me the support and the family that you knew I've always craved. You gave up everything that might have been out there for you so that you could be there for me."

"And now, I want to be there for you. I know you're hurting- something about that place we went to. Something about the necklace that I've seen you playing with when you think no one's watching. I saw it around the girl's neck in that picture when Normal made me go back. I can pretty much figure out the gist of what happened- mission went wrong, you hurt someone you cared about, Manticore's fault, right? (at Alec's surprised and wary look) Even if I wasn't a bioengineered think tank, the feeling in your music would have pretty much clued me in. Listen, you don't have to tell me everything, or anything if you don't want to. I just want you to know that I'm here, and I do a pretty decent job of listening, when I'm not too busy talking. And I promise I won't judge you- I've done some pretty horrible Manticore-sponsored things myself that I really wouldn't deal well with some people finding out about."

"Like Logan?" he tried not to spit out the other man's name, but with Max openly admitting how the man looked on the real her it was hard.

She smiled self-deprecatingly- even she wondered how much longer she could continue pursuing a relationship with a man who could never accept her for who and what she was, not to mention the whole "no touching" thing. "Yeah. See, he wasn't there. He didn't live through what we did. He has no idea what they did to us, what they could force us to do, or what they could drive us to. Only another Manticore alumni could really understand, I mean really, from the core, get what it was like to live those lives."

"About time you got that."

"Yeah. I guess I've kind of been hiding from the truth for a while now. But see, all that is why I might be able to help you to get it all out. I know you might not want to open up to me; I mean I'm not exactly the most open type myself. But I guess I'm kind of the only ex-Manticore prisoner available at the moment."

Alec smirked, "So you figure you'd be able to get into my mind and make sense of it, huh?"

Max shrugged, "As much as anyone could understand the scrambled mess you keep up there." She kept her tone gentle and light, hoping to convey the fact that their comfortable yet energized relationship would not be damaged by them opening up to each other. To emphasize her point, she slowly walked up to him and gently knocked her fingers along the side of his head. But even to her, it was more of a caress than a hit. As she slowly put her hand back down, she looked deep into his eyes. She found him staring at her with the same intensity she felt in her own eyes, and found it hard to think straight.

"Ouch. That hurts, Maxie. It really does," Alec teased back, equally gently, the humor flowing through the currents of his rich voice. He caught her hand as she brought it down, and softly caressed it before letting it drop.

Max smiled back, attempting to ignore the shivers his tone commingled with his touch ran down her spine. Instead, she looked away for a second to collect herself before meeting his eyes again, "So, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Just, when you're ready to talk, let me know. You know, if you want to."

As she walked away, she could hear his voice barely whisper, "Thanks, Maxie."

She didn't notice the silent figure hanging in the shadows back quickly away from her approach. And so she didn't see the disappointment in the man's eyes. Or the apprehension- he knew what was coming.


	3. Truth in High Places

Title: Later

Author: Dark Roswellian Angel

Elizabeth McDowell

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. If I did, "Dark Angel" would still be airing, and Malec would be a household phrase- as in, two young lovers are so malec for each other, or their chemistry is just so malec.

Copying/Downloading/Posting: Please let me know first, and let me know where my work will be posted as I would love to come visit it. Make sure that it is put under my name, as I would love to hear how others feel about it. Thanks ;)

Rating: T+ just to be safe

Synopsis: During The Berrisford Agenda, Max learns about her relationships with men- more specifically about two men in her life. And about herself, too. This is the third of three chapters for this fic.

A/N: Part of this chapter was inspired by "Twister." Kudos to anybody who can figure out what part.

2nd A/N: I have to apologize for not getting this up by my goal time. And I have to warn everybody. No matter how good looking or smooth they are with the words, ignore those fine men with the sign-up-to-join clipboards. I swear to you now, no matter what they claim, stomach bugs are just nowhere near as much fun as they claim. I repeat- avoid the bug! Do not sign!

3rd A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody who has reviewed the first two chapters. It means so much to me when people take the time to let me know what they think. Special thanks goes out to vancity angel, MythStar Black Dragon, Myth87, PyroDeScorpio2, klylu, JoJo2753, and Aranel du Lac. Thank you :)

* * *

Truth in High Places

Later that night, Max was up on top of the Space Needle. It was her favorite place for going to figure things out, and right now her head was practically exploding from all of her questions. She needed to figure out what was going on. For instance, what about Logan? Was it possible that tonight's version of Logan was the real one, and she had somehow missed it all this time? Was it possible that he really considered himself better than everyone else? Did he really consider her family a lower subspecies? How had she missed it all? Why had she put up with it?

And what about Alec? Why was it so hard for her to admit her feelings about him? She had always been attracted to him, even from that emotionally high-pitched first night. Even as she had pushed him away from her, she had felt the connection open. He was attractive- no one with working eyes could deny that. But she'd seen attractive before. Plenty of times before as a matter of fact. So, it couldn't just be a physical attraction that was affecting her like this. No, it had to be something more, something deeper.

As she puzzled on her feelings for Alec, she began flashing on some of their shared experiences. The way he had looked when he'd been watching out for the X6s, the way he'd responded when he'd caught her with Logan, the desperate look in his eyes when he had eventually chosen her over life, the way he tried to pretend he didn't care what she said or thought about him but then gave it away in his every glance, how he made her laugh and pushed her buttons just so that he could enjoy her reaction, how he joked around with their friends, how he made a point of hanging out with her even when he could have been enjoying himself with some give-it-up female, and the way she felt every time she saw him with some girl who was free to be with him, free to demonstrate how she felt about him.

She began to ponder on their connection. She had never felt something so powerful with another person before. It had started when they'd met in Manticore and had grown since then. No matter how malnourished it was on her side, it had managed to bloom. And now it seemed to be connected to every strong emotion she felt. Even when he wasn't around, she could feel it. It seemed to pull her to him, and him to her. When they had separated at Logan's place and she'd gone back to Manticore, she'd felt it pulling him to follow her. When they'd met up again while saving their kid brothers and sisters, she'd felt it beckoning her to join him, to leave with him. When they'd met up again, she knew it was their connection that had saved her life, and then later his. She'd really had no option- the connection made it so that she'd had to choose him over Logan even back then. She knew it was the connection that had forced him to come back to Seattle. And it was the connection that had made the thrill go through her when they met up again as cat burglars and she'd realized how similar they were, even though she'd denied it. It was even the connection that made her enjoy arguing and fighting with him. The connection was making him the most important person in her life, and it was the fear of their connection that made her push Logan in front of him every chance she got. Somehow the connection was taking over her whole life, and she was beginning to wonder where she ended and Alec began, and if he were to leave if there'd be anything left of her.

Not for the first time, she wondered what the connection really was. What was hiding in it that scared her so much? What was it that made it so powerful? What would she find if she opened it up and allowed herself to really look into it? _Curiosity killed the cat_ ran through her mind, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to know. She was finally _ready_ to know. And so she opened herself to it, and was immediately overtaken with the strongest emotion she'd ever know.

* * *

A few minutes later, as she sat with tears in her eyes, Max felt something. Some little nudge on her conscious alerting her to an approaching presence. She didn't have to look to know who it was. She sat quiet and alert as he came up behind her and dropped to the floor beside her. "Hey, Maxie."

She was very pleased with how controlled her voice was, considering what she had just realized, as she responded, "Hey, Alec." She waited for him to say something more, but he seemed content to just sit there. As the silence became more and more uncomfortable for her, probably because of her realization, she stood up, gave him a gentle smile, and said "I'm gonna take off. I know you wanted time for yourself tonight. Probably didn't realize I'd be up here. (She gave him a moment to claim otherwise.) I'll catch you tomorrow." She turned and slowly began walking away.

As he watched her walk away from him, Alec felt a sudden panic rising. He didn't want to be alone right now. He'd realized that when he'd watched her walk away from him earlier that night, despite what he'd thought when she'd first come down the stairs. In fact, that was why he'd come up here- because he knew she might be here. And he realized with surprise, and a little concern, that he didn't want anyone else to be there with him- Max was the only one he felt he could open up to. He wondered at that- he'd always been so scared of opening himself to her. He couldn't stand the thought of her not liking what she found and rejecting him. Of all the people in the world, the one person he couldn't bare to lose was her. But was it possible that she could ever feel the same? He flashed to the way her eyes had looked into his as she'd touched him just hours before. "Max, just one thing. Why are you doing this? I know you said that you want to be there for me like I've been there for you, but is that all? Or is there another reason?"

Her new realization gave her strength, and Max decided to behave extremely uncharacteristically by laying it all out on the line, figuring that was what she was hoping to help him do in return. "I'm tired of watching you waste your life, Alec. You're a wonderful man, and you deserve to be happy. But the shallow fun you get with all these different women isn't going to lead to anything long-lasting. And it's the relationships in life that make it worth living- make freedom worth fighting for. With all you've been through, you're too scared to do anything but ignore the opportunities that are right in front of you. You've got to stop punishing yourself, and allow yourself to be happy."

Something told Alec that she wasn't suggesting any of the other girls he spent time with. "What are you saying, Max?" He felt himself swallowing hard while his heart beat a mile a minute waiting for her answer.

He could see fire flash in her eyes before she spoke. "Me, Alec. I'm talking about the fact that even those blind bastards at Manticore could see that we were meant to be paired. And the fact that we haven't been able to leave each other and make it stick, or send each other away, or even manage to say goodbye to each other just illustrates the point. Maybe we didn't mean for it to be this way, but I spend more time with you than with anyone else, I do more with you, I work more with you, and I work better with you than I do with anyone else. When I need help, I turn to you. When I'm going to do something dangerous, you're the one who I want to have my back. It's like something inside of you is calling to me. I trust you more with anything and everything I do than I do anyone else, and it's not like I chose to feel that way. It just happened, like it's natural, if anything about me could be considered natural. It's like you're-"

"A piece of me. Maybe a whole other half of me," Alec finished. As she had spoken, his mind had started opening to her words. He thought of all the time he had spent with her, wondering how she could possibly not notice how they were coming closer and closer to inseparable. All the EO missions they'd gone on together, all the jams they'd helped each other out of, all the times when he'd wondered if she'd gone to Logan first and him second only when Logan was unavailable or incapable of helping her, all the times that his heart had whispered to him that they were becoming a part of each other whether she wanted it or not and he had refused to acknowledge it- everything took on new meaning. How often he had wondered if she could possibly be feeling their growing attachment- if it was possible that her day was becoming as dependent on seeing him as his was on seeing and spending time with her.

He had tried so hard to ignore the yearnings of his heart- they had started so small that he hadn't even noticed, but as they had spent more and more time together, they had grown so strong that he couldn't go a day without seeing her, without hearing her voice, without touching her and finding some way to make her touch him. He had never thought that he'd feel something so strong again, and yet his feelings for Max easily surpassed any feelings he'd ever had before. He'd been so sure that she didn't feel the same- that her feelings had only barely evolved from revulsion through acceptance to some kind of basic friendship. He had tried to quiet his heart- to remind it that he'd never cared about anything that he hadn't eventually lost, and if he admitted how he felt about her, then eventually he would lose her too. He had tried to block her from his heart, to turn her away from him with his sarcasm and feigned lack of caring, but somehow she had seen through it all. Somehow her personality had clicked with his own- she met his wit with her own, his blasé attitude with confronting assurance that it was only an act. They could understand each other in a way that he had never felt understood before, and it wasn't just because of the Manticorian hell they'd lived through. It was even deeper than that- it was as though they lived and breathed each others' lives, as though they were in fact a part of each other, body and soul. And now his desired other half had confirmed that she felt the same way, and he felt as though he were about to wake up from yet another similar dream to find himself sleeping next to some nameless, faceless woman failing in his attempt to pretend that he was alright and that he didn't need anything more. He looked down into her eyes and saw them alive with hope and promise. Was it possible? Was she real? He reached out to her and cupped her cheek. He felt a thrill go through him as she closed her eyes for just a second and then opened them up into slits. "Do you have any idea what you're saying, Max?"

"I'm saying that you're a part of me, whether I meant to let you be or not. I need you."

"I need to know you're sure, Max. I need to know that you want me... not just need me to help you or be there for you. You've got me for that either way. I need to know that you _want_ me the way that I want you. That I won't wake up tomorrow, or five minutes from now, and find you gone from my life. I can't open up to you without knowing that you're open to me, that you're willing to see where we can go with this."

"I may not have intended to let you into my heart. I may not have wanted you to become a part of me. And maybe I would have fought it if I'd noticed before it was too late. But Alec, you are a part of me, and now, knowing the person that you are, I can't imagine ever wanting it to be any different. I haven't treated you the way I know I probably should've treated someone I care about, but my insecurities haven't made me care about you any less. You are what and who I want. For as long as you'll let me be a part of your life, and in whatever way you want me, I'll be here. (She took a step closer.) Right here. I've never felt more right than when you're beside me. I've never felt more natural and comfortable and myself, and at the same time energized and alive. I've never had more fun than bantering with you, and I've never been as pissed off at another human being before in my life. And since we're being honest, I don't know if it was more because of what you were doing or because of what you weren't doing. Watching you walk off with whichever girl happened to walk in front of you at the right moment drove me crazy. Knowing that she would get a part of you that I probably never would just about killed me."

Alec couldn't stand listening to how he had hurt her. "No. They never got a part of me. The only reason I went with anyone else was because I knew I couldn't be with you. And, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty sure I've been subconsciously picking girls that remind me of you- I can't remember the last blonde or redhead I've had anything to do with. And lately, all the girls have been more than capable of telling me off (he smiled as he heard Max's delicate chuckle). But they were all pale imitations, Max. I was wasting time because I didn't think I could be with the only girl I wanted. No one else could ever be you, Maxie. No one else could ever make me jump inside by touching me, or make me melt inside with just her voice. You are the only one who could ever have a part of me; because you are the only one I will ever be meant to be with."

"But what about _her_?" her voice was soft, full of understanding.

Alec knew at once who she was talking about, and he could tell from her voice that she was willing to share him with Rachel's memory if she had to. He swept his hand through her thick, soft hair before looking back into her eyes. "You were right about her. Her name was Rachel, and she was the first person I ever loved. It was my first deep-cover mission, and I was sent to watch her father. When Manticore decided to take her and her father out, I tried to fight it. I put the bomb under their car, but I couldn't go through with it. I tried to warn her, but instead I just wound up scaring her, and then a secondary team set off the bomb, and everything went to hell. I tried to get to her- to see if she was okay, but I was dragged off for solitary and interrogation. And some reprogramming." His voice had turned hard and sardonic.

"I'm so sorry, Alec. So very sorry. I guess I figured out some of it, but nowhere near all of it. If you want me to leave you alone so that you can deal with it, I will. I don't want you to feel like you have to share it with me." Max's heart was breaking for him, but she felt somewhat selfish because she knew that a large portion of her pain was coming from the confirmation that he loved someone else. She turned to walk away so that he could have the solitary comfort that he had come up here for in the first place.

Alec realized what she was doing, and looking at her face he realized that his information had somehow hurt her. Or at least upset her. "You said you'd understand. That you wouldn't judge me."

"I'm not. Believe me."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because you wanted to be alone, and I had to come barging in and demand an explanation. And now I realize that you deserve to be able to deal with this the way you need to. I don't blame you- you did everything you could to help her. And you got punished for it, which if anything proves that you tried to stop them. You're a good person, Alec, even if you have made some mistakes. So, no, I'm not judging you."

"Then don't leave."

"But-"

"I know I went down there tonight thinking I wanted to be alone. But I don't. I came up here looking for you. I want you to stay with me."

She looked up into his eyes and then looked away, "I don't know if I can. I know you're hurting, and I want to be here for you, but I need a few seconds to deal with what you said."

"To deal with what kind of horrible things I did?" he couldn't even look at her, knowing how bad he must seem.

"No. (his eyes darted to hers with her denial) That... (he could hear her swallow as though trying to get something big and painful down her slender throat) you're... in love with someone else," she choked out and then immediately tried to choose the latter of her fight-or-flight instincts.

His hands reached out and grabbed her before she could go more than a foot away from him, holding her in place. "No. I said I _loved _her. That she was the first person I'd ever loved, and yeah, for a long time I thought that meant that I'd been _in love_ with her. But I don't think it was ever anything more than puppy love, my first crush. It was sweet and good, like she was, and when she died, I had to deal with losing someone I loved, the end of my first crush, and the pain of helping to destroy something so pure all at once. But no matter how much I cared about her, I wasn't _in love_ with her... Max, I'm _in love_ with you, and you're the first and only person I've ever felt that way about."

Max's eyes were shining as she looked up into his intent spheres, "Really? Are you sure?"

"I've never said it before, and I can't imagine saying it to anyone else, ever. I hope I never have to say it again just to convince you," she watched as his beautiful sardonic smirk appeared, "though I imagine I wouldn't mind saying it all the time to remind you. Yes, Max, I love you with all my heart, what there is of the poor damaged thing. I'm not sure I have enough to satisfy you, but I'd love to spend my life finding out."

"You have enough heart and passion and _you_ to satisfy any woman, Alec... I love you, too." If possible, they moved even closer to each other while maintaining eye contact.

"Are _you_ sure, Max? What about Logan?"

"Logan is a good man, and I guess I do love him. But it's like what you said- my first crush. He was so good and upstanding and driven. He refused to settle for anything less than my best, and he helped me become a better person. He made me feel like I had a place in this world, in his world. But I don't think it was ever anything more than that. I don't think he ever accepted me, the real me. He loved the idea of me- we both loved the idea of each other. But we never really loved the reality of each other. And then with all that went down, and then the virus making it so that we couldn't be together- it was like it all made our relationship that much more intense. It was like because we couldn't get together, we decided that it must be that much more important and wonderful to be able to be together. And then I started spending more time with you, and I realized what real feelings were like. I think if Logan and I had just hooked up at the beginning, we'd already be firmly set in the "just friends" stage by now, or maybe we wouldn't even hang out anymore. But whether you and I ever hooked up or not, my relationship with him would never have stayed a romantic one."

"Are you sure?"

She looked deep into the eyes of the man who her heart belonged with and nodded her head. "I'm in love with you, Alec. I've never felt this way before, and I never want to try to find this without you again."

As their eyes slowly closed, and their lips finally met, they knew they were right. That this was right. The most right thing they'd ever found in their lives. And they knew that as long as they were together, they could take on whatever came in their lives. Later, they would deal with telling their friends, most of whom would be happy for them, a few who wouldn't, and one who would have to turn away from them for a while. Later, they would deal with finding Rachel, and Max would find a way to help the girl as she had once helped someone who had meant a great deal to her so that Alec could let go of some of his guilt and finally say goodbye. Later, they would deal with finding the cure to the virus, Alec's initial worry and jealousy, Logan's initial hope and eventual disappointment and resignation when Max proved that it wasn't just the virus keeping them apart. Later, they would deal with the world realizing that transgenics and mutants were among them and help the world find a way to accept them. Later, they would deal with White and all of the other Familiars and they would find a way to save the world from The Coming. And later, they would deal with what being in love and transgenic meant for them and their litter. And they would do it all together. Because when they were together, they could do anything.

But for now, they would focus on each other and the wonder they felt at finding their other half. For now, they would focus on the happiness they would always be able to find in each other's eyes borne of the true love that they'd finally found.

* * *

Okay, so I know they may have been a little OOC, but about 1/3 of the way in, I decided to just have them go with it and say everything that I wanted them to. I figured sooner or later they should speak their hearts. Hope you liked.


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